I Missed My Dog Today


Today I woke up and missed my dog…

But it’s not just her that I miss.

I miss not having to use an alarm clock to wake up in the morning.
I miss being treated like a celebrity just for walking in the door.
I miss being able to share all of my frustrations and problems without having to listen to a lecture or advice.
I miss never being cold at night because there is always someone warm to snuggle with.
I miss not having to ask for a shoulder to cry on because it was always right there.
I miss being with someone who doesn’t care about my past and who doesn’t worry about the future.
I miss having a rhythm to my day that was built around caring for someone else.
I miss having someone’s unconditional trust.
I miss being needed.
I miss having someone in my life who always has my back.
I miss being loved for exactly who I am — flaws and all.
I miss feeling like a superhero for being able to drive a car, open jars and reach the countertops.
I miss always being first choice for who to spend time with.
I miss being accountable to someone to get up and exercise every day.
I miss being able to apologize for a mistake and know that I’ve been truly forgiven.
I miss never having to feel alone.
I miss not feeling self-conscious about how I look or act.
I miss laughing every day and playing in the backyard like I was a kid again.
I miss having an automatic ice breaker when I meet new people.
I miss being appreciated just for being around.
I miss having an excuse for not being able to work late every night.
I miss being able to spend a Saturday morning cuddling or playing and feeling like I’ve accomplished something important.
I miss finding joy in something as simple as sharing my ice cream cone.
I miss having someone in my life who will never spill my secrets or talk behind my back.
I miss never having to worry about sweeping up crumbs from the kitchen floor.
I miss having a friend who never hesitates to defend and protect me.
I miss quiet moments of togetherness where I can truly be myself.
I miss seeing the world through the eyes of someone who is unfailingly curious and optimistic.
I miss having a relationship without any expectations, agendas or resentments.
I miss feeling completely understood and unconditionally loved.

So when you see my tears or tell me that it’s time to ‘get over it’, please remember that I’m not just mourning the loss of my best friend, my constant companion and my family member. I am certainly not missing ‘just a dog’. I am also missing the life that I knew and the person that I was before. Eventually, my heart will begin to heal and I will adjust to this new life in front of me. But for now, let me grieve without judgment and give me the time that I need to find my way through this and to mourn the loss of my dog, my identity, and so much more.

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About Kerry Malak

I am a Bulldog mom, Reiki Master/Teacher, pet loss counselor and canine cancer advocate who loves working with people and animals to help them live longer, happier and healthier lives.
This entry was posted in Pet Loss / Grief and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to I Missed My Dog Today

  1. kathleen gahles says:

    I sympathize! I lost my old man almost 6 years ago now and not a day goes by that I don’t miss him. He was my friend, my companion,my protector, my love.

  2. gramercygirl says:

    You have captured my thoughts exactly. I love this. I lost my soul mate almost 8 months ago. Today has been a difficult day, I dreamed of him last night and woke up in tears. Here’s a little tribute to my Joey on my blog. Thank you for sharing this.

    http://thirtytherapy.wordpress.com/my-golden-boy/

  3. Tina says:

    That is very beautiful and so true for many pet owners no matter what pet we lose we never forget and some we never stop missing and I think we as individuals each have our own feelings and that needs to be respected.

  4. Jackie & Roxy says:

    You said it perfectly…I miss my sweet Roxy terribly. I miss her smell…I miss her kisses and cuddles.

  5. Thank you.for saying everyting I feel.

  6. Mindy Faulkner says:

    Kerry,
    As always, you are able to put into words exactly how many of us feel. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss Rukkus, the bond we shared, and all of the little everyday things that we did that I once took for granted…
    Love,
    Mindy and Rukkus, Raising a Rukkus with the Angels

  7. Beth says:

    Its been a year since my Miracle Milo crossed the bridge. I miss him everyday and he was more to me than just a dog. He was the child I may never have since I suffer from unexplainable infertility. The owney stamp came out on his death anniversary. I think it was his message that he is having a great time waiting for me on the bridge 7/27/2011

  8. Alex says:

    Thank you so much for this I have to get rid of my dogs tomorrow and I can already imagine what all that you have said will feel like I already miss them 😦

  9. Jay says:

    Beautifully put..I feel exactly the same about my chocolate lab, Lloyd, who I had to put down due to Cancer on June 11/2012
    Thank you for Sharing

  10. archie arno says:

    we found out last thursday that reba had a tumor on her hip and bone cancer.i was out of town,my wife and son brought her home that night and held her all night.she was in more pain than they realized,so friday they brought her back to the vet,and held and rubbed her while she went to sleep. we only had her 71/2 yrs. she was a beautiful red nosed staffordshire/vizsla mix.we will miss her terribly.god bless all.

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